When we discuss the emotional aftermath of abortion, the conversation typically centers on women’s experiences—and rightfully so. However, there’s another perspective that often remains unspoken: the profound impact abortion can have on men.
At Abortion Recovery America, we recognize that abortion affects men, too. We’re committed to providing compassionate support for everyone affected by this difficult experience.
Keep reading to learn how abortion affects men and how they can find hope and healing, no matter how long it’s been.
Understanding Men’s Complex Emotions After Abortion
Men’s responses to abortion can be as varied and complex as women’s, yet they’re frequently overlooked or minimized. Society often expects men to be stoic (or even silent) supporters, focusing solely on their partner’s well-being while setting aside their own emotional needs. This expectation can leave men feeling isolated, confused, and without adequate support during a challenging time.
Men can experience a range of emotions following an abortion decision. Some feel relief, particularly if the pregnancy was unplanned or occurred during difficult circumstances.[1] Others experience depression, anger, regret, grief and other emotions, regardless of whether or not they were a part of the decision-making process.[2] In fact, 71% of men say they experienced adverse effects after abortion loss.[3]
It’s important to understand that there is no “right” way to feel after an abortion, and men deserve the same compassion and support offered to women navigating these complex emotions.
The Unique Challenges Men Face
Men dealing with abortion aftermath often encounter unique challenges that can complicate their healing process:
- Societal Expectations: Cultural messages about masculinity can make it difficult for men to express vulnerability or seek help. The expectation to “be strong” for their partner can prevent men from processing their own emotions.
- Lack of Support Resources: Resources specifically designed for men can be hard to find, leaving many feeling alone in their experience. While many men want to talk to someone about their experience, they may not know where to go to get help.[4]
- Communication Barriers: Partners may process emotions differently, leading to misunderstandings or feelings of isolation within relationships. They may be at different stages of their emotional journey, creating additional stress.
- Delayed Emotional Response: Some men don’t experience the full impact immediately. Emotions may start to emerge years after the abortion.[5]
Common Emotional Responses Among Men
Men in our support groups often share similar experiences and emotions[6]:
- Invalidation: Some men feel invalidated after abortion. They express that their thoughts and feelings are dismissed or not valued, leaving them to suffer in silence.
- Grief and Loss: Mourning “what might have been”, including dreams of fatherhood or family.
- Anger and Frustration: One study found that many participants struggled with anger after abortion, regardless of whether or not they thought it was the right decision.
These emotions can manifest in various ways, including substance abuse and relationship breakdowns.[7]
Moving Forward: The Path to Healing
Healing after abortion is a personal journey that looks different for everyone. For men, this process might include:
- Acknowledging and accepting their emotions without judgment
- Improving communication with their partner about their respective experiences
- Developing healthy coping strategies for managing difficult emotions
- Finding meaning in their experience, perhaps through helping others or personal growth
- Rebuilding or strengthening relationships that may have been affected
Recovery doesn’t mean forgetting or minimizing the experience. It means learning to carry the experience in a way that allows for continued growth and healthy relationships.
The Importance of After-Abortion Support
While friends and family can provide valuable support, sometimes professional guidance is necessary. Men dealing with abortion aftermath may benefit from counseling or support groups that address their specific experiences and challenges.
Our trained counselors understand the unique aspects of men’s responses to abortion and provide a safe, non-judgmental space to process these complex emotions.
Our after-abortion support groups specifically designed for men offer additional benefits. Connecting with other men who have had similar experiences can reduce feelings of isolation and provide practical coping strategies. Many participants find relief in discovering they’re not alone in their feelings and responses.
After-Abortion Support Groups Online
At Abortion Recovery America, we offer specialized support groups for men dealing with abortion aftermath. Our groups provide:
- A confidential environment to share experiences
- Professional facilitation by trained counselors
- Connection with other men facing similar challenges
- Practical tools for emotional healing and communication
- Ongoing support throughout the recovery journey
We understand that taking the first step toward seeking support can be difficult, especially for men who may feel uncertain about expressing vulnerability. Our approach is compassionate, non-judgmental, and focused on meeting each participant where they are in their healing journey.
Support groups are available online. Give us a call at (205) 894-2868 to get started.
Please be aware that Abortion Recovery America does not provide or refer for abortion services.
Sources
- Support After Abortion. (2023, April). Study Shows Long-Term Negative Impact of Abortion on Men. https://supportafterabortion.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/11/Support-After-Abortion-Mens-Research-White-Paper-VF4.pdf
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- DeVeber K. Chapter 16. In: Abortion: Its Effect on Men. Published 2017. https://www.deveber.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/Chap16.pdf